Tuesday, 9 October 2012

A Dose of RiRi-ality

So Brad and I are tidying the kitchen after the beating it took from Avery, Nixon, and my cooking, and the radio is on in the background. Neither of us is really paying attention to it as it's only on low, but when I do stop for a moment and pay attention, the song Where Have You Been by Rihanna is on.        

As my darling husband would say, "Well the Lord  Dancing Jesus." 

There are several things that I find wrong with this song, and her music in general, however I will start with the fact that in this song she is depicted as a woman who has literally traveled all over the world looking for some guy. 

I don't do chasing. 

There is nothing that looks worse to me than a woman who is chasing a guy around. The desperation kills me. I've seen it, and its painful. I feel like someone in her position should not be promoting that shit. Come on Rihanna, if the guy doesn't want you, he's obviously wildly homosexual. We are talking, waving the flag while he walks to the grocery store. You're Rihanna, for eff sake. Get a hold of yourself! When I was single (or just with my ex boyfriend who I was in a relationship with on a Monday to Thursday basis) I didn't even chase my shots, let alone some asshole, and I didn't even have a flourishing music career (let alone go to the gym or anything) so it's not like I had a pile of choices like yourself. And for the record, I still managed to do ok!

The second issue I would like to bring to the table is the fact that when she finds this guy, she wants him to "love her all night long."

It's time to get real here people. It's time to be honest with ourselves and just let it all out. 

Nobody wants to get loved... all night long.     

Listen Riri, I know that you're only two years younger than me and everything, but I've gained a butt load of wisdom in the past two years, a tidbit of which I'm about to share with you. Sex can often lead to babies and babies are exhausting. When you're exhausted, you want to sleep all night long, or at least be on the bottom in the dark so that you can sneak a nap just in case it lasts longer than 10 minutes. 

If someone comes at you, threatening to love you all night long, you're like "Get the hell away from me before I call the police!" because I can promise you that guy is not your husband, as your husband is exhausted too. 

When you are a parent, you are "everywhere, man" searching for some silence, and you usually find it locked in the bathroom, pretending to poop. There's no shame in it! In fact, there is a whole support group for it on Facebook! Ha!

Anyway, all I have to say is that the radio makes me concerned about who my daughter's role models will be. When I was a little girl my dad used to check under my bed every night for monsters, and then I grew up and that monster became a semi-famous "singer" named Ke$ha. Things aren't looking good. People clearly need to start belting out pop tunes about longer skirts and mid afternoon naps. Only then will the world start to settle down, I'm sure of it.   

I hope that Avery always thinks that being a Rice Crispie eating nerd is cool!


No comments: