Friday, 15 June 2012

A Shout-Out to Dads...

Although this blog is mostly dedicated to moms, I thought it was important to also show some love for the dads out there, so here it goes; my open letter to dads. As a disclaimer I would like to say that I use the term "dad" rather than "father" as Dad implies that they are actually involved in the child's life. This is important as Father's Day, in my opinion, does not apply to fathers who puss out. End disclaimer.

Avery holding Brad's finger, minutes old

Hey Dads, 

By now I'm guessing you've realized that your life is drastically different since your significant other (or not so much of a significant other) just pushed a baby out of her vagina, or had one pulled out of an incision, or one finally came to you through adoption. Whichever. Or maybe you're in shock because you and your boyfriend/hubby just  finally got the baby that you've wanted for a very long time through a surrogate/adoption. Again, whichever. Still shocking no matter the situation, and no matter how long ago the baby came along. 

I want to say that I get it, as much as a woman can get it, that you don't experience pregnancy like we do. You don't feel the first flutters, the big kicks, the hiccups. You don't get to know the baby and bond with the baby like a mother does, which is why it's so amazing to see you when you finally see the baby for the first time and realize that there really was a little person in there. And so, here is a list of the phenomenal things that dads do that melts the hearts of everyone and shows that you are a good dad, in shock or not. 

To the dads who just about soiled themselves with fear when they found out that they were going to be a dad, and the dads who were sweating outside the bathroom, praying for a plus sign. To the dads who fell to pieces when they found out that they were getting a baby from across the world, or from across the street, or wherever.

To the dads who teared up in the ultrasound room when they realized that there was a person in there and not just a bunch of cells. To the dads who had their heart melted when they finally felt the first little kicks, and to the dads who stared at a picture of a child every night, waiting for them to get from wherever they were to the place that they could call home. 

 To the dads who pass out in the delivery room, the dads who gowned up for the OR, and the dads who were holding the mom's hand (or foot!) while coaching her through the most amazing and intense moments of her life. To the dads who were there at the home births, the car births, the waiting room or the airport, waiting with bated breath for the unknown.

To the dads who cut the cords, or who didn't. The dad's who caught the babies, or didn't. To the dads who sobbed uncontrollably for days after they meet their little one(s), and the dads who didn't but their heart swelled just the same. To the dads who finally understood what it was like to hold their heart in their hands, and for the dads who never got to hold their babies.

To the dads who gagged over poopie diapers, but made it. The dads who supported their partner through breastfeeding, or who mixed formula at 3am. To the dads who found themselves pushing strollers or babywearing, and loving every minute of either, or both.

To the dads who have never missed a ballet concert, or a soccer game, or a game of Barbies, or  a game of Mario Kart, or who are struggling to find something in common with their child, but are making an effort just the same. To the dads who pick out dresses, or jerseys, or any clothes, as that's not something that a lot of men are known for. 

To the dads who were so pumped to have a little boy to play sports with, but supported them when they wanted to join ballet. To the dads who were unsure of how to handle a little girl, but can now whip her hair into a ponytail with the best of them. 

To the dads who have a death wish for their baby girl's first boyfriend, and the dads who want to physically assault a coach for not picking their son for the team. To the dads that read bedtime stories and do all the voices, and to dads who know all the words to every lullaby. 

To the dads who do it alone, and the dads who stepped up when the "fathers" didn't. To the dads who support their little girls when they are raising a baby alone (we all know they are always little girls to dads), and the dads that are there every step of the way even though there isn't much of a relationship with the mom. To the dads that are always there for their kids, no matter how old they are, and to the dads who are no longer with us but were great when they were. 

Basically, if you are there in any way, shape, or form for your child, or even someone else's child, thanks. It's kind of a big deal. 

Brad and Avery - Happy Father's Day, buddy. You're doing great xo

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